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The Art of Forgiveness

They say forgiveness is a tough cookie! Well, even if it is here’s why it is so important.

Forgiveness makes the soul happy. Not only for the person you are forgiving, but yourself too. It gives you freedom from within. Forgiveness is  a natural gift which is not something unusual.

So many of us waste our time and energy figuring out what happened in the past not focusing on what can be done in the present moment.

It’s really easy to get fixated on folks who have hurt us. Day by day we just dwell on it thinking of all the negative things that our folks have caused us and keep hurting ourselves and invite stress into our lives.

But we don’t realise that the minute we forgive someone, we are free. Free of negativity and free of that burden on our shoulders. It is simply satisfying. Forgiveness brings us peace of mind and frees us from corrosive anger.

So what is it that we are doing?

We are simply letting go of all the negative thoughts in our head and moving on from the past. We are preparing ourselves to let go of all ill feelings and anger towards a particular person or situation. In this way, we are freeing ourselves from the pain and negative thoughts in our head.

If forgiveness is a tough job for you here is what you need to know –

Firstly, Lay the Groundwork. Explore your anger. Ask yourselves questions like why are you getting angry, what has triggered your anger, what is it that keeps bothering you about this particular situation, is it a pattern and so on. Identify the reason. Journaling your thoughts is a great way to explore your anger and thoughts. This will help you to evaluate  your anger and what you can do about it on a daily basis.

Second is Go slow with forgiveness. Some people find it extremely hard to forgive and let go. Take your time in the process of forgiving else it is natural to feel pressured and then guilty in the long run. Set clear intentions on forgiving and accept that it might take time maybe a few weeks or months.One can practice powerful affirmations and also techniques like Ho’ponopono and Release Letters to release anger and pent up feelings.

The third important point that one needs to know is to live in the here and now. You may feel disappointed or upset about something that happened in the past, but what is distressing you at this time are the feelings, emotions and the physical reactions you are going through. Actively calming the body by a few deep breaths, affirmations, smelling an aromatic oil or just looking at a beautiful picture will make you feel better instantly.

The fourth and the last point is –the process of forgiveness should be about you and not the other person. The aim of forgiving someone or a situation is that you find peace and calm within yourself. You must feel calm peaceful and good from within with the act of forgiveness. This will free up your pent up energy into a peaceful one, remove grudges and invest that energy into more constructive purposes.

In conclusion, the art of forgiveness is a challenging yet a hugely freeing experience. One must learn to openly forgive, be compassionate and understand that in forgiveness lies huge benefits. One can evolve and greatly enhance their personality with this great deed of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not a one time thing it is an evolution.. a process. If we deal with it with patience we will bloom into beautiful positive and easily forgiving people. Eventually we will realise that the feelings which are contained and grudges are about us and not the other person. That is when we know that one has learnt to forgive for good.

Vinti Daswani

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